Words of Wisdom. Things I have learned through a life with Autism.

One must take the idea of what their life should be, rip it up, and live what their life really is. You do not live your life for the opinion of others. Do what feels right. That’s is healing. 

We are allowed to mess up, it’s human, you must realize that every human makes decisions they are not proud of, and people that are good for us will forgive and understand.

We can only control ourselves and sometimes when we try to control others, we lose what we love.

Don’t let someone else dictate your normal.

I feel that the best things you can do are, live from moment to moment, be ok with your feeling because they’re natural, just let yourself feel, remember you’re not alone, and tomorrow is a new day. The sun always rises.

Life is a state of impermanence, death is not. Enjoy life the best you know how.

  Tickle people when you can.


They said, what?

I was in a room of student teachers the other day after work. They were talking about a student who cries everyday. She said she didn’t know what was wrong with him. “He must have a touch of Aspergers,” she said. And everyone in the room burst out laughing. I sat there feeling angry and ashamed that I didn’t say anything. I wanted to tell them that they had hurt my feelings, but I couldn’t speak up.  Now, I just imagine what I could have said to shock them into shutting up. Am I a joke?



I fluctuate between loquacious and uncommunicative.  In times of stress my Autism symptom get so severe I start to stutter and finally I can’t even speak. Words can’t make it to my mouth. It is really hard to be rendered non-verbal and it is very scary. 

Think of it as a computer. If your router isn’t working your internet cannot share information to your laptop. It’ feels like that, like a wire is cut in my head. A disconnection.
 So, I ask people to not make me talk, usually forcing it out loudly. “No talk!” Then I get to escape to the back of my mind and disconnect.
Please stop telling me I don’t know what real Autism is.

Diagnosing Neurotypical Disorder.

this post is tongue in cheek.

There is a disorder that many Autistics are aware of. It is commonly known as Neurotypical Disorder, also know as NTD. Their behaviors remain baffling to us. Communication remains taxing. Here is a brief overview of these behaviors.

People with this disorder use emotion to make decisions, are often irrational, and have trouble with ‘literal’ conversation. Their drive is social. They have a mysterious language that isn’t understandable to Autistics.  Neurotypicals can communicate with a look and often say one thing and mean another. Accompanied with this is a high incidence of lying and evasiveness. 

Neurotypicals are preoccupied with social concerns often are rigid in their social conventions. Conformity runs rampant. They have certain rituals that bond them to a group. Other people are viewed as extensions of themselves. Sufferers often believe that their experiences and beliefs are the right ones. Differences are not tolerated and feared.
There appears to be a social hierarchy that they live by.  The NT with the most stuff wins.  There is a “social ladder” that they strive to “climb.” Either with sex, education, money, small talk, or careers. They are in constant competition.  Being higher on this “ladder” makes you a more important person.
Mating seems to be their primary focus. They have specific dances they utilize to attract a mate. Often drunk and with deafening electronic music they “shake that thang” to garner attention. If ones perceived attractiveness of another is less than that perceived of themselves they will strongly and rudely reject the possible mate.  This leaves room for indignation. And many NTs don’t get “laid.”
The way they perceive to world is often narrow and they insist that they are correct even when the evidence goes against them, and often refuting other valid options. NTs have issue with detail and often think too abstractly. They miss seeing parts of the whole and ignore small details. Their observation skills leave much to be desired.
Sadly, there is no known treatment or cure for this disorder. All we can do is remain patient and work with them ensure healthy development.  Accepting them and trying to understand them may make them more comfortable among us Autistic people.
I hope to further my research by studying their drinking and mating habits. I believe much can be learned about how they communicate.  Hopefully, one day we may come to understand Neurotypicals.

My opinions don’t matter b/c of Autism.

I feel like a second class citizen. People either don’t listen to me or discount what I am saying because I am disabled, and people are surprised when I know more than most people. I don’t think my lack of a degree has anything to do with my work ethic. It’s hard to get accommodations for disability from a college. Especially when you have trouble communicating. Getting a job where I could be comfortable seems impossible.

I have a decade of experience in retail, food service, and office work.  I have so much experience in these fields, but no degree. Do I need one the be legitimate in this country. Underemployment and lack of employment are a huge problem for Autistics. And I refuse to go on disability.
I can learn things quickly and efficiently. My brain stores information like a hard drive. So even without my degree I probably know more then “you” do on a multitude of topics.  From cats to the human brain. Give me a topic and I can converse about it.

So Much Hate, Where is the Love?

I have seen some of the ugliest hate towards Autistics.  I’m not talking about misunderstandings or ignorance. I am talking about people who really mean us harm.  I made the mistake of googling negative opinions of Autism. I truly had not idea what I was getting into.  I really had no idea how deep hate could run.

I ended up on a forum for a “baptist”church. Of course they weren’t really Christian.  When you think Autism should be beaten out of kids, you have a major problem.  These people think that we are Autistic because God hates us. They think we have no place on this planet and we should be “euthanized.”
Here is a quote from some idiot who doesn’t deserve to be names,
“Aspics don’t have empathy, love, social skills, sympathy, emotions, religion, etc., as you so adequately display in every single one of your posts. You can’t raise a child with any of those missing. An asperger-tard can’t interact with other humans, only with computers, so they can never hold a job for more than a week or two, that’s no way to support a family. An assburger only acts out of selfishness, they are incapable of considering the feelings of others, an asspy wanting children wants them purely for selfish reasons but does not consider that the child will never be able to grow up to be a functioning adult, because the asspy can’t teach language, social, religious or emotional skills, nor even love a child. I say that’s enough reason to ban aspies from having children.”

Considering this man is about as intelligent as a rock, minus the moss that covers it, it still shows people’s attitudes in the extreme.  I honestly cannot even bring myself to be angry. I pity him.  I am sad that his heart can carry such animosity. I cry knowing the he has reproduced. Honestly, they are no better that Hitler. I know dozens of people who could prove him wrong.

I continued on to read about children and adults who have been murdered by their families.  There really is no reason to kill your kid. A mother stabbed her son to death, a father drowned his daughter and a boy was set on fire at a high school party.  You hear about these incidents on the news and on talk shows. They question the motives of the guilty party, they talk about valid reasons mom snapped. Was the mom pushed to the edge or was the kid possessed? It doesn’t matter. Murder is murder. If you are at your wits end get help.  Go to the hospital or call the police and tell them you’re afraid of hurting your child. Social services will take them. I’m not saying this is an ideal situation but it’s better than death.
The punishment for these killers leaves much to be desired. They get off with manslaughter or a few years in prison. Starving your child get you 32 months for second degree manslaughter.  Judges making “mercy recommendations.”  How these people get any mercy is beyond me. They sure didn’t show any.
I am at my wits end. I do not know how to educate these people or if it is possible.  The best thing we can do is ignore them.  People like this are seriously sick psychopaths.  We need a cure for them. Not Autism.