Diagnosing Neurotypical Disorder.

this post is tongue in cheek.

There is a disorder that many Autistics are aware of. It is commonly known as Neurotypical Disorder, also know as NTD. Their behaviors remain baffling to us. Communication remains taxing. Here is a brief overview of these behaviors.

People with this disorder use emotion to make decisions, are often irrational, and have trouble with ‘literal’ conversation. Their drive is social. They have a mysterious language that isn’t understandable to Autistics.  Neurotypicals can communicate with a look and often say one thing and mean another. Accompanied with this is a high incidence of lying and evasiveness. 

Neurotypicals are preoccupied with social concerns often are rigid in their social conventions. Conformity runs rampant. They have certain rituals that bond them to a group. Other people are viewed as extensions of themselves. Sufferers often believe that their experiences and beliefs are the right ones. Differences are not tolerated and feared.
There appears to be a social hierarchy that they live by.  The NT with the most stuff wins.  There is a “social ladder” that they strive to “climb.” Either with sex, education, money, small talk, or careers. They are in constant competition.  Being higher on this “ladder” makes you a more important person.
Mating seems to be their primary focus. They have specific dances they utilize to attract a mate. Often drunk and with deafening electronic music they “shake that thang” to garner attention. If ones perceived attractiveness of another is less than that perceived of themselves they will strongly and rudely reject the possible mate.  This leaves room for indignation. And many NTs don’t get “laid.”
The way they perceive to world is often narrow and they insist that they are correct even when the evidence goes against them, and often refuting other valid options. NTs have issue with detail and often think too abstractly. They miss seeing parts of the whole and ignore small details. Their observation skills leave much to be desired.
Sadly, there is no known treatment or cure for this disorder. All we can do is remain patient and work with them ensure healthy development.  Accepting them and trying to understand them may make them more comfortable among us Autistic people.
I hope to further my research by studying their drinking and mating habits. I believe much can be learned about how they communicate.  Hopefully, one day we may come to understand Neurotypicals.